


Will Never Be Her

by faegal04



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Explicit Language, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 02:16:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16924638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faegal04/pseuds/faegal04
Summary: Request: Anonymous. Your song fics are spot on! Would you want to do a Sam x reader set when Sam is addicted to demon blood and running around with Ruby based on the song I Hate U, I Love U by Gnash??





	Will Never Be Her

Dean coming back was a miracle, he was surprised to find me with Bobby though. How was I to tell him that you left me for her. A demon. I told him that I had no idea where you were, it wasn’t a lie. But Dean wouldn’t accept that you were gone, he found you, brought me with him to you, thinking that we would all go back to how it was before. He didn’t know what had happened though.

–

**Reader’s POV**

It had been three months since I had seen you, I lost you and Dean within in a month of each other. When Dean went to hell, you fell apart, I tried, God knows I tried but I wasn’t enough. I knew something was going on. The late night calls, disappearing into the night when you thought I was asleep, truthfully I was lying there wishing you would talk to me, let me back in.

I had no idea you were running to her. I didn’t understand the hold she had over you, didn’t know what she had done to you. Our time together was strained, we didn’t even make love anymore. I can still feel your lips against mine, our bodies moving together as one. I couldn’t see the end not yet, one night changed all of that though.

For weeks before you left for good, it hurt to look at you. The empty eyes that used to be warm and filled with life are now just filled with her and whatever she gave you that I couldn’t. You never needed me as much as I needed you, and I was never able to tell you why. The first time I followed you made me hate you, watching you look at her with what could only be described as want. I left then back to the hotel to cry in peace, hating how I loved you even after I saw you with her.

The next morning, you couldn’t even look me in the eye. How could you not see that you were killing me.

–

**Sam’s POV**

You’re right next to me, but it feels like we’re miles apart. You wouldn’t understand what I’m trying to do. Lilith needed to die and I was the only one who could do it. I’m so tired though, tired of the lies, of sneaking around. I want to tell you, I do, but I don’t know how. As I lay here next to you, I wonder if you miss me the way I miss you.

Then I feel the want, and I type a text out to her, because I need her like a junkie needs his fix. I hate that I want her, that I need her, that a part of me loves what she gives me. My feelings are so mixed up right now. I hate her, I love you but then it gets flipped and I hate you but love her.  I know that distance isn’t what you need, but I feel myself pulling further away and I can’t help but wonder if this is what happens when people move on.  

I never saw an end for us, till it was right there. I always said I wouldn’t, that I couldn’t but then I fucking did it, I burned the one bridge I never meant to. That night is on a neverending loop in my head, I needed her bad that night, I could feel the want course through my veins. I slipped out the door like a thief in the night, eager for the drink that only she could satisfy.

**Reader’s POV**

Finding you with her in that old ramshackled house, her on your lap, your arms around her, helped me see the end. Feeling used as you saw me, looked me in the eye while you kissed her, I knew then that even though I love you…I hate you and I will never be her.


End file.
